Mint Spectacles on: When Should a Liberal Pretend to be a Conservative

Continuing the conversation on why conservatism sells (the first part is here). If you were a liberal, when would you want to pretend that you were a conservative?

When you want to make money of course!

How so?

How many liberals do you see with merchandise displaying their belief such as say, global warming exists  or that we did ascend or descend (as your preference might be) from apes? Not many. Truly – look around you.

Whether it is tee shirts or mugs or key chains or whatever, conservative stuff sells more.  Just like the blogs with conservative point of view on how global warming doesn’t exist or how the earth was created 10000 years ago get far more traffic than their liberal/progressive counterparts. So do blogs that say that the science behind evolution or global warming is not science.

This was gently pointed out to me when I was thinking of putting up an online store with my smart alecky slogans about global warming and some creative insults etc.  So naturally I got to thinking why there was this imbalance.

It’s not like conservatives have more income or that they work less hard or are somehow different. I knew some really, really nice people who voted for Bush in 2000.  In short, conservatives aren’t different from others except in their doggedly held opinions.

And so my final hypothesis is:

that conservatives spend so much time and money on reiterating their opinions because they need to constantly reaffirm to themselves that they are right about things.

Now it may be that you are disappointed by this hypothesis. I was. I said really – is that all?  Then I began to see what it meant. It meant that anyone who makes conservatives feel good about their beliefsis sitting on a gold mine. On the other hand, liberals/progressives et. al are so comfortable with their beliefs that they don’t need to display them on  tee shirts.

So someday I may write a post about why conservative beliefs  about global warming etc are so lightly held that they need constant reassurance that they are right!

And a note:

Some of you may wonder why I did not have a hypothesis that conservatives buy stuff because they feel like they are in a minority. I didn’t because the fact is conservatives talk to other conservatives and really don’t have very much reason to suppose that they are in a minority.

Glee is me: Great Movie One Liners – Part I

From that 1987 classic movie Princess Bride:

Great to use on any kid, whatever be your age!

Grandpa: “When I was your age, television was called books.”

Grandpa and Grandson in the Princess Bride

And the next two lines just make me laugh and say “ain’t that the truth”

The Grandson: “I wasn’t nervous. Maybe I was a little bit “concerned” but that’s not the same thing.”

Miracle Max: You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

And from a non-classic 1989 Road House with Patrick Swayze as Dalton:

A really good insult:

“You’re too stupid to have a good time. “

And this line falls in the pantheon of classic action movie one liners:

“Pain don’t hurt”

The next few glee is me posts are going to be about more undiscovered move one liners.

Mint Spectacles on: Why Babies are Cute and Adults Are Not

Ever seen an ugly baby? No?

Really it’s a serious question. But why you might think, am I writing about babies when I actually meant to write about why people own guns? It so happens that right now I am around a couple of babies. Really cute babies.

But this particular post was triggered when I saw the father actually raise the 16 month old to smell him to check if he had done a “big job.” This from a guy who didn’t care for bathroom humor and the like.

It is my observation that people change when they have babies. They don’t change when they get married but let a little bundle of delight come into their life and it becomes hard to recognize even one’s oldest friends. Suddenly the hardened partier will sober down and get involved with nappies instead of daiquiris. Amazing!

It turns out that babies of every species are cute. Even skunks and snakes. If they weren’t, presumably, the parents would not look after them till they got old enough to be independent.

Yet even though all babies are so cute and adorable, notice they all don’t turn into the adult equivalent of cute which would be handsome and beautiful.

What happens?
Genes kick in. So thank evolution for cute babies and blame the parents and ancestors for ugly adults!

Glee is me: All Time Best Movie One Liners

The funniest one liner from a movie that I can think of was:

“I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.”

So said Jessica Rabbit in the 1988, or was it 1987, hit “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?”

But the most recognizable one liner award, at least in the UK, went to

“the name is Bond…James Bond.”

Wonder what the most recognizable one liner would be over here in the States. With Gubernator Arnie, I am guessing

hasta la vista

from the (1984?) Terminator

There can be lots of one liner categories but for this time, write to me about what’s your funniest or most recognizable one liners from the movies.

Glee is me: More Creative Insults

It turns out that I am not the only one interested in being creative when insulting people. Here is another site with some G rated yet funny insults.

And here’s another creative insult from me:

It’s obvious you’ve been talking to an amoeba.

Mint Spectacles on: Global Warming and its Deniers Part 2

After my last global warming post, I discovered the deniers in the blogosphere and it got me thinking. About those who write that:

global warming is a left wing conspiracy or

that global warming does not exist or

the one that makes me laugh the hardest is the globe is cooling and their tag words will list global cooling. Hmm I should add that as a tag word.

All this got me to thinking why that is so. Usually I just wonder what the grandkids of global warming deniers are going to say to them. But this time I asked something more fundamental – why do they think the way they do?

Here are my top 6 reasons.

Reason No. 6
Global Warming Deniers don’t like to think. They may not know who George Bernard Shaw was (a great playwright and a Nobel Laureate) but they agree with what he said “Two percent of the people think; three percent of the people think they think; and ninety-five percent of the people would rather die than think.”

Reason No. 5
Global Warming Deniers hate to recycle. What, separate the paper from the food? What a funny notion.

Reason No. 4
Global Warming Deniers like to believe the advertisers. After all McDonalds does give you a 99cent burger when they advertise that special so when a coalition of big business says hey if business were to worry about global warming, your taxes will go up….they believe them.

Reason No. 3
Global Warming Deniers think to be right they have to be the opposite of left.
So they must believe the opposite of any thinking that is labeled left.

Reason No. 2
Global Warming Deniers are oil company investors. They love their dividends.

And The Top Reason
Global Warming Deniers saw lots of war movies when they were kids and they always wanted to be the guy who gets trapped and valiantly stands on his toes as water gushes into the room. The water rises, to his chin but he did not give up raising his gun above his hands.
So now they get to be the guys who will valiantly defend their right to consume without looking at or considering anything or anyone else. They know that climate scientists agree that rich countries will be hurt a lot less than the developing world as the oceans keep rising.
But if there is water in the streets and you own a large vehicle? Which brings us to the Real Reason No. 1
Global Warming Deniers want to feel good about owning their Hummers and hope one day, to look good in them

Anyone else has other reasons to add to this list?

Glee is me: A Little Story

So a guest is coming over and I say, “I hope he’s not drunk this time.”

The door bell rings and lo behold, at the door, stands a perfectly sober guy.

Even before he can step in, little three year old stands in front of him and asks:

“Are you drunk again?”

Glee is Me: Casablanca in 30 seconds

They met, they loved,

Ilsa left,

Again met, again loved,

Then, Rick left

The End.

Actually it’s a beautiful movie – definitely worth watching if you can get past the fact it’s in black and white.

Mint Spectacles on: Insults as a Creative Art Form

One of my friends saw my creative insult yesterday and asked what’s with this creative insulting? Here’s the answer.

When I get mad, the first impulse is to shout go f… yourself. But it occurred to me that what I’m really saying is go get some pleasure.

I don’t know about you but when someone annoys me, my instinct is to go POW rather than tell them to please go have some fun.  Now when I get mad I only tell someone I really like to go get some pleasure.

For the rest of the world, a whole world of insects, reptiles and their body parts exists to describe obnoxious people or offensive behaviour. And I find that once you get started, it takes a lot of creativity to keep coming up with new ones.

The ones I will post here are going to be mostly PG 13 rated. Really, quite a few of them are not for polite company, even if all the company that visits here is not polite .

Start insulting creatively and you’ll always laugh even if sometimes the person you are insulting is yourself. Like the time I did something really stupid, ah, but that’s another story.

Glee is Me: A Creative Insult

Glee is me is the part devoted to feeling good.

Imagine the joy I got when I said:

Cobwebbed brains think only in clichés

Who did I say it to?  To someone of no particular importance in my life but with great irritation potential.